The {Not So} Great Vacation - Parts 2 & 3

Okay, yes, I know this is like WAAAAYYYY overdue.  We did, after all, go on vacation a month ago.  I guess I just needed some more time for the emotional scars to heal.

For those of you who need to get us to speed with Part 1 of our vacation....click here.

The second leg of our journey was heading to Great Wolf Lodge for one night.  With your stay here you get 2 days of access to the indoor water park for each night of stay.  We figured 2 days of chasing the kids around and having to wear a bathing suit in public was just about enough so we opted for a one night stay.  I have to say, we HIGHLY recommend this place.  It is a bit on the pricey side but if you troll for deals and stay mid week, it makes it a lot more reasonable.  The rooms all have mini fridges and microwaves too so you can bring some food in with you which helps cut costs.

We splurged a bit and got the room with a "den" for the kids.  This meant that the room had a separate little area with bunk beds and a TV for the boys.  This worked well because it meant that Super Husband and I could actually watch TV after the kids went to bed without waking them.  Big bonus.

So, we got there for about 2pm the day of check in and after getting all checked in and sorted out we headed to the water park for an afternoon of fun.  Unfortunately Buddy JUST missed the 42" height requirement to go on some of the bigger slides so we were confined to the Chipmunk Cove area in terms of slides but that was still okay.  The kids loved it and had an absolute blast.  Super Husband and I had lots of fun people watching.  The good news is that Great Wolf Lodge is a family attraction so most of the women there have bodies like mine....full of stretch marks, cellulite and lumps.  It really does help take the sting out of bearing a bathing suit in public.  Really.

After a few hours of play we decided to get some dinner.  We left the hotel and went to an Italian restaurant.  This is where things went downhill.  The kids were tired.  And grumpy.  We were tired.  And grumpy.  We arrived at the restaurant and they naturally seat us Right.In.The.Middle.  Like a circus act.  Which is exactly what we were.  Little Man promtly uses his fork as a missile narrowly missing the people beside us.  Buddy starts pitching a fit.  We are not discreet.  Super Husband is irritated and starts snapping at me and I decide we need to relocate to the corner.  Our server was noticeably pissed at the request which in turn pissed me off.  I mean, fuck, lady...we are trying to be polite and not ruin everone else's dinner experience here!  Screw off and move us!  So we move (much to the dismay of the people in the neighboring table) and try to proceed.  Little Man is now ramping up and trying to make an escape.  Buddy is mad because he wants to sit next to Super Daddy.  I remedy the situation by ordering a half litre of wine.  Not nearly enough.

In the end, Super Daddy had to take Buddy out and "talk" to him.  Little Man finally calmed down when the food arrived and as per usual we scarfed down our meal in 2.8 minutes so we could get the hell out of there.  So relaxing.

Back at the hotel, we decided to go to the lobby for story time and then a dance party.  Wow.  Buddy is a dance fanatic.  He LOVES to dance.  So he was in his glory.  I don't know where he gets it from, but this kid can do moves that verge on the edge of break dancing.  Which he decided to pull out in the middle of this party.  No joke, there was a circle of people around him.  As an aside, I have enrolled him in hip hop dance classes starting in September.

The remainder of the evening was non eventful and everyone slept like the dead. 

The next day we got up, got ready and back to the water park for another few hours of fun.  All was well until it was time to head out.  when Buddy had an epic meltdown.  Again.  After dividing and conquering in the change room, we made a hasty exit and got everyone packed in the car in order to start the final phase of our vacation:  Two more nights at the Marriott in Niagara Falls.  This was truly the crown jewel of crappy vacations.  Our kids were Beasts.  Nightmares.  Out of Control.  I'm being nice.

I really cannot even begin to describe how miserable the whole experience was.  It was meltdown after meltdown...adults not excepted.

Here's the condensed version:

* We checked in and went up with Buddy kicking and screaming
* Got settled and decided to go out for dinner and a walk.  Another big meltdown and had to settle for fast food.
* Came back and attempted to get the boys to bed.  They had no part of it.  All the while I am being texted, emailed and harassed by work.  In the end we had to turn off all the lights and TV to get the kids to sleep.  I spent the next hour locked in the bathroom on my computer trying to deal with a work related catastrophe that apparently nobody else could take care of.
* The next morning we decided to go to the butterfly conservatory.  Little Man ran away, managed to exit the conservatory and ended up in a staff only room.  Buddy threw another monumental tantrum and we ended up leaving within a half hour of arriving.
* We drove to Niagara on the Lake and stopped at a bakery for lunch.  Brought said lunch to a picnic bench where Litlle Man threw a fit and threw his entire meal on the ground.  Face down..  Super Husband lost his marbles and dragged Little Man back to the car.  Buddy and I followed.
* More tantrums and meltdowns when we returned to the room.  We came close to packing up and driving back home at this point but since the room was paid for we stuck it out.
*  Waited until 10pm in our room for the fireworks to start as we had a view of the falls.  As soon as the first one went off, Little Man became petrified and cried on my lap.  We didn't get them to sleep until 11pm.
*  Got up and ready to leave (oh glorious day).  More tantrums.  Had fit waiting for elevator and others waiting stared with eyebrows raised.  Not helpful, assholes!

This sums it up nicely:

While driving by the falls upon arrival, Super Husband announces, "Look!  See the water falls?  Look how big they are"!  Buddy casually turns to look then turns in the opposite direction and exclaims, "Wow!  Look Daddy.....a sprinkler"!  Yes....it would appear that the in-ground sprinkler system in the park across the street was far more impressive than Niagara Falls. 

Somewhere in amongst all the drama of this vacation we did have fun, however, I don't think we will attempt a trip like this again for some time.  The kids are young and frankly just hanging out with us in a local park is thrilling for them.  Lesson Learned.

Are We There Yet?

Man, this week is a killer.  How can this only be Thursday? 

Super Husband is away on another business trip.  I've said it before and I'll say it again.  It's really hard to be "on" all.the.time.  Work is INSANE right now.  Naturally this week is the week that just about everyone decides to take off and I am left to hold the fort.  My direct report is out of office, the formal PM out of office, Business Lead for both my major projects out of office....not to mention my husband.  In the end it means I get left facilitating lots of meetings and the crowning glory:  a formal presentation to the President and Senior leadership team.  At 4pm Friday.  Enough said???

Aside from that, I have been dealing with the aftermath of a flood in our new house.  Yes, you read that right.  The house is 40+ years old and never had any issues.  Until we move in.  With all the rain we had a couple of weeks ago the basement flooded.  Carpet soaked and laminate bubbling out.  Let's not forget our bedroom is down there.  Oh, the joy.  So now we are left juggling contractors and quotations so it can be fixed.  Good news is the cause will be fixed next week. 

Lastly, being a class-A IDIOT....I decided that I needed a new project.  So, for Buddy's birthday party I am making all the kids personalized capes.  Guess where I will be at 10pm tonight?  Yup....at the sewing machine feverishly sewing superhero capes for 10 kidlets.  They will look cute but I didn't realize how much work this was going to be.  I have two weeks to get them all finished.  Thank goodness I started early!

So these are all contributing factors to my infrequent updates.  I apologize but the tipping point has been reached.

Since Super Husband left (last weekend):

While attending a birthday party, I went upstairs to check on the kids only to find them playing what they called "The Humpty Dumpty Game".  Apparently this game entails all children to stand in a circle, recite Humpty Dumpty and at the end pull both pants and underwear off.  And shake your goods for all to see.  Now I know.

I have learned to check contents of garbage.  Apparently Super Husband threw out an exacto knife in the basement bathroom garbage.  I had no idea.  Little Man discovered it, took it out, mastered the safety feature that prevents the blade from being out without someone holding it securely and tested it out on his head.  I found out when Buddy raced upstairs to announce Little Man has "bleed" on his head.  Wonderful.  Try explaining that one to daycare.

Only three more sleeps until Super Husband returns.

I think I can, I think I can.....

I like Buddy's Version Best

Yes, I know I still owe Parts 2 & 3 of our lovely vacation experience.  I haven't forgotten.  I'm just busy.  And tired.

Anyway, all in good time.

For now you will have to wait and settle for what I thought was the most hilarious event that took place this past weekend.

Buddy loves music and dancing.  He breaks out lyrics to songs I didn't even know he has ever heard on a frequent and recurring basis.  A couple of weeks ago he started randomly singing "La Bamba" to himself, for example.

Well on Saturday the Maroon 5 song Moves Like Jagger came on and he went crazy pulling out all kinds of dance moves and attempting to sing along.  I couldn't really tell what the chorus words were that he was singing so I asked him to sing them to me.

He gives me an odd look then belts out:

"I've got to move my jacket"
"I've got to move my jacket"
"I've got to mo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-ove my jacket"

Super Husband and I nearly died laughing.

It's moments like this that I want to bottle up forever.

And unbottle on his wedding day.

Home For A Rest

For any of you old  retro-lovers out there you probably have many fond memories of partying the night away slurring chanting the words to Spirit of the West's "Home for A Rest".  Or is it just me?  Anyway....the underlying message from that song is that vacation is killing these people (presumably from an over abundance of alcohol) and they need to get back home to recover.  This is EXACTLY how I feel after our vacation.  Only there was ZERO partying happening......

How is this possible?

Take a jam-packed agenda and add a 2 and 3 year old to it for a week.  At the end of it I assure you....only the strongest will survive.  Trust me, it's easier to withstand a brutal hangover while riding a tilt-a-whirl than brave what Super Husband and I did.  We made it out alive but believe me, it was a touch and go situation.

Our National Lampoon's Family Vacation

The first leg of our vacation was camping.  Super Husband and I were avid campers pre-children.  So many fond memories of relaxing by the beach, snuggling by the camp fire and enjoying a cold brew.  Ha!  Long gone are those days, my friend!  We arrived at Algonquin Park on Sunday afternoon after an eventful ride over and multiple potty breaks.  We get to our site and start to unload.  The kids, having been pent up in the car for hours on end, are about to go ballistic.  They get out and start running around.  Super Husband and I are still reeling from the news that there is a TOTAL FIRE BAN under effect.  What the fuck?  Who goes camping and doesn't get to have a camp fire?  US, apparently!  It's actually so dry that the entire site is a cloud of dust which immediately envelops all of us and clings to us because we are sweating like pigs.  Awesome.

On to tent building.  Super Husband pulls the gear out and realizes not one but TWO poles are broken.  This is despite the fact he had set the tent up in our yard without incident only days before.  Awesome.

I don't know how, but Super Husband gets the damn thing erected and then moves on to inflating the air mattresses.  With the lovely car adapter power device he purchased only hours before.  Plugs it in.  Nothing.  What the fuck?  Oh, right.....it's only 210 volts and the air mattress requires 220 volts.  Awesome.

After an emergency trip to the store, we get the silly things inflated and the kids snacked up and eat dinner.  Now what?  Dusk is approaching, Super Husband and I are exhausted.....and we can't light a damn fire.  The bugs are surrounding us....so we moved on to our favourite time of the day.  Bedtime.

Of course, it's still not dark out, the guys are totally hopped up on candy and frankly do not want to sleep.  After 1.5 hours of struggling the kids are finally asleep.  So are we.

I wake up at about 2am and feel like I've been beaten with a stick.  My back is wrenched.  What the hell is going on?  Oh right....the air mattress that me and Buddy are sleeping on is completely deflated.  Awesome.

We get up the next morning and excitedly get ready for our day.  We've reserved two bikes and a trailer to use on the old railway bike trail.  This is going to be freaking great!  We get all ready, set out, get all set up and the kids loaded and start on our way.  After 6 minutes the total meltdown started in the trailer.

"He's touching me"
"Make him stop"
"Don't look at me"
"I want to walk"
"Where's MY bike"?

We were forced to stop.  At which point the kids ejected themselves from the trailer.

Meanwhile, other families rode by with their content smiling children happy as clams.  Assholes!  What do these parents do?  Do they sedate the children beforehand?  What are we doing wrong here?

After 20 minutes of argument we finally convince them to get back in the trailer and continue.  All is good.  For three minutes.  Then the fighting starts again.

We stop and break out lunch.  Buddy announces, "I have to poo".  Of course.  How convenient.

By this time it's like 400 degrees and we are sweaty, dirty and fed up.  we decide to take Buddy to the washroom, eat and then head back.  Super Husband announces he thinks he's going to pass out.  What?  Pulling a trailer with 80 pounds of kids and gear can't be that hard, can it?  Awesome.

So back we go.  We get back to the bike shop.  We had paid for a 24-hour rental.  Two hours had elapsed.  I ask the kid if we can change our rental to the 4 hour version as we are done.  He gets the supervisor who takes one look at us and asks, "It was that good, huh"?  Yes....it was.  Awesome.

The rest of the trip camping was a blur.  Lots of meltdowns from both kids and parents.  Little Man had an EPIC meltdown at bedtime and was disturbing everyone in the park so I strapped him in his car seat to scream it out (don't worry...I was in the car with him).  He freaked out so bad that he burst a blood vessel in his eye.  No, I am not kidding.  Awesome.

In the end we got up the following morning and hauled ass out of there.  Super Husband advised me it would be "a loooong time" before we camp again.

I will elaborate on our next vacation adventure in another instalment.  Right now....I've got to work.    

Scratch That

Remember in my last post how I talked about how looking after my kids was getting to be so much easier and enjoyable than in the past?  Remember how I was so proud of myself and feeling like I had this mommy thing all worked out?

Well that was before Tuesday.

Tuesday I took the day off to be with the guys and take them to Wonderland (solo....Super Husband is still away on business).  My friends were astonished.

"You're what"?

"Taking BOTH kids by yourself"?

"Good Luck"! (dripping with sarcasm)

I am convinced that these asshole comments set me up for disaster.

I couldn't possibly capture the horrendousness of the day in a blog post but I will say this.

1.  The workers will actually stop a ride to let your 2.5 hear old get out because he has Houdini-style  flung his legs over the side of the airborne airplane and is screaming "Mommy"!  Apparently other parents get annoyed when this happens.  Especially when they are waiting in line.

2.  The big red button on the control panel marked EMERGENCY STOP really does stop all the trains in their tracks!  Amazing!  Even more amazing is the fact they place said button to be accessible and low enough that a 2.5 year old can reach it while mommy is unloading other child from ride.

Yes!  It's true!  Little Man managed to shut the whole ride down without aid of a qualified worker.

We made a hasty exit after that one.

By the time we got home I was ready to implode.

Thankfully Super Husband is coming home tonight.

Tag - you're it!  I've got a date with a bottle of chilled white.

I Did It!!!

I survived the weekend as a single mom.  With sanity FULLY INTACT!  Trust me....that is an accomplishment!

Every time Super Husband leaves on business I get the dreaded sinking feeling in my stomach.  OMG....how will I cope?  Heck - I used to get that feeling when he left to go to work for the DAY!  Fast forward to the present time and I have to say that juggling a 3.75 year old and 2.5 year old is SO, SO much more manageable than when they were younger.  We actually had fun!  Yes, there were moments that mommy wanted to crawl back in bed or mix a margarita and put earplugs in but overall it was a good weekend.  And to boot a PRODUCTIVE one.  SCORE!

One od my super close friends had a baby less than 2 weeks ago and I have been feverishly working on a quilt to give as a baby gift.  I finally completed it Saturday morning while allowing the kids to watch a bit too much TV (oops).

I am super pleased with the end result.  This is my second quilt and the first time I've attempted to do free motion quilting.  Meaning I used a darning needle and made squiggly lines all over the quilt instead of the straight ones I did on #1 (surprisingly, the straight ones are harder....at least in my humble opinion).

Sorry for the crappy pictures.  Super Husband took the camera with him on his trip so I am left with my phone camera.  I suppose I could have used my iPad...but I only thought of that now.  Oh well.  It looked great after I washed and dried it and it was all soft, warm and crinkly!

I'm thinking of starting another one as I have lots of scraps left over from this one. 

After finally completing the quilt project I pacaged the kidlets up and off to a party at a gymnastics place.  They had a blast!  From there we went for dinner at a friends house (and gave the quilt)!

Sunday we got up and I decided to be brave and take both of them out shopping.  Now, I generally avoid doing this unless Super Husband is with me as backup because there is inevitably a meltdown and nothing gets accomplished.  But damn it, I needed to cross stuff off my growing "to-do" list so off we went.  First stop - Crappy Tire.  To return a sleeping bag that we had bought for Buddy.  We got it home, unrolled it, and realized it was not very high quality so we of course spent more money on a better one.  Sigh.  Returned that and then set off to find a puddle jumper for Little Man (Buddy already has one and LOVES it).  Bingo!  Found one - the last one that was not pink or purple.  And on sale!  Score!  Hightailed it out of there for my favourite store.  Costco.  Oh, how I adore Costco.  Managed to get some new storage bins and snack items before making a hasty exit before meltdowns ensued.  The bribery lollypops can only do so much.

After lunch we gathered our stuff up and set off for Lionel's Petting Farm.  The kids love this place, it's close to home and not only is it FREE but you get to feed the animals your stale bread and wilty lettuce so you don't feel like shit about pitching it in the garbage!  Total win on all counts!  On our way both beasties fell asleep (yes) so I decided to keep driving and enjoy the silence.  As I continued North, I was surprised to suddenly see a mass of cars pulled over and parked.  I mean, we were in the middle of nowhere...what the heck was going on?  So I asked someone walking by and he told me it was an open house for steam trains...little ones.  Wow!  My boys are totally gaga for trains!  SWEET!  So I parked that car then and there and woke up my boys to go see trains.

What a surprise!  It was swarming but we got right in line and after a lengthy wait rode on a mini steam engine!  It was so, so cool!

Afterwards, we continued on to the Petting Farm and then home for dinner.  A great day, overall!  I guess it really is true that it gets easier when they get a bit older.  Hip Hip Hooray!

Single Parenting

....Is HARD!  My hats of to the moms and dads that do this each and every day.  You deserve a tall cold one.  But only one because having too many results in bad parenting, I'm sure.  Yet another reason why having two full time parents is easier.  You can rotate being the responsible one.


We already know parenting is the toughest job there is and I honestly cannot fathom doing it alone full time.

Super Husband has left for the next week and a half on a work trip to a remote location in Northern Quebec so I am holding the fort and keeping the kidlets entertained.  To be honest, I don't mind during the week.  Between work and daycare and the regular routine that is life doing it alone is manageable.  What I do struggle with is the weekends I am alone.  Because weekends = lots of hours without anywhere we need to be.  And that's a SCARY thing with young kids.  Or maybe it's just MY kids???  You see, after getting up and eating breakfast my kids need to have a plan.  There needs to be a very well planned agenda or the day goes down the shitter reallly fast.  So I need to be strategic this week and pre plan our escapades for the weekend or I will be dealing with two little tazmanians before lunch Saturday - YIKES!

The good news is that this summer is SO much easier than last summer....or the summer before.  As the guys get easier it is so much more doable with sanity intact.  And let's not forget we don't have the house stress we had last summer.  Trust me....I was not a happy lady when Super Husband left for 2 weeks (yes, it was longer last year) and I had to deal with an 18 month old and 2.75 year old while the apartment was 96 degrees.  Yes....96 degrees!  Thank.God.For.Central.Air.

Anyway, I now need to gigure out an agenda for the weekend.  We have Wonderland Passes, Zoo Passes and Science Ctr passes but I am not feeling inspired.  We do have a birthday party to attend Saturday afternoon so that will help!  Also, the new big backyard is a lifesaver.  Lots of room for me the kids  to run through the sprinkler!