Ya, I know. I haven't posted in like....ages.
Truth be told, life has gotten in the way. You know how it is.
So here's the readers Digest version of what our family has been up to over the last month.
1) Sourcing a babysitter. Man, I could write a novel on this process. Likely it would be classified as a horror. Good news is we've found a lovely lady that the boys love. Bad news: we almost hired a murderer. Long story. I'll elaborate another time.
2) Working. My work has been MENTAL. Enough said.
3) Quilting Class. My new hobby. LOVE IT! Will post pics of progress along the way. Don't laugh.
4) Fixing the fucking dryer. It's broken four times since we moved in. FOUR! And we've only lived in the house for four months.
5) Fighting with the people that live in the basement. Oh, I could be swayed to go off on a tangent here. But I will try to contain myself. All I will say is that our recent exchanges consist of them banging on the ceiling. A polite way of saying we are too loud. While eating dinner at 6pm (both kids firmly planted in their booster seats). Screw you!
So anyway....that's life.
I promise more frequent updates.
October 21, 2011
September 15, 2011
Up Yours, Garmin Lady!
I am lucky enough to not have to travel too much on my job but yet do have the occasional need. The best part is that the travel I do is typically for training or to attend a conference. This fall I've hit the jackpot of business travel: San Francisco and Las Vegas.
So yesterday morning I headed out to catch my flight to San Francisco. I was super excited as my company has a policy that if you have a flight lasting more than 2 hours you get to fly Executive Class - BONUS!
Well I got on the plane and settled into my super comfy seat ready for 5 hours and 26 minutes of pampering. Admittedly, it started off well: orange juice, my vegetarian meal and lots of movies at my disposal. About 2 hours into the flight the pilot came on the intercom and asked if there was a doctor on board to please identify themselves. Ummmmmm......WHY?????
Then we realized there was a big commotion in the back of the plane. All the flight staff rushed to the back. They would occasionally run up to first class to grab supplies. Sometimes a first aid kit or a blanket, other times oxygen tanks (yikes) or forms. As a result of all this, the bathrooms at the rear of the plane were blocked off and everyone was routed to the first class bathroom. So, we had a line of people desperate to pee for most of the flight. Sadly, this also impacted our snack service. I was so looking forward to my fresh baked cookie and ice cream! Boooo....
Once we finally landed, we were all told to remain until medic was able to get in and get the ill passenger off. The good news was that the man will be okay. He had passed out (migraine) and had very low blood pressure. Phew!
After that drama, I was off to collect my rental car. I went over and waited in line and naturally got the grumpiest staff member working. You know, the type that makes no effort to disguise the fact that they hate what they do for a living.
Grumpy Worker: What kind of car do you drive at home?
Me: A Volswagen Jetta
Grumpy Worker: Is an Intrepid okay?
Ugh....I hate Intrepids. No offense to Intrepid drivers but they are not my thing. But honestly....I don't care enough to make a fuss.
Me: Sure
So Grumpy Worker tells me to go outside to parking spot 123 to pick up my car. Great. Out I go. Oh yes! There's the spot! There's the car! Wait! Why are the lights on? Is a worker warming it up for me? So helpful! Wait! Why is the car now accelerating? Why is it leaving? Why am I not the driver?
Someone took my car.
I stood in the now empty spot dumbfounded. Suddenly an Avis Van pulled up, apparently full of employees.
Worker: Do you need help?
Me: Ummm...someone just drove off with my car.
Worker: (laughs) Maybe they were overwhelmed with how good looking you are.
Me: Ya, I guess.
Worker: Go back inside to the "Preferred" desk and someone will help you.
So off I go back inside. The "Preferred" desk was another world. Apparently even staffed by friendly employees! Score! So I explained my predicament to the nice lady. Apparently this is not uncommon. Nice to know. Then the best thing happened:
Nice Worker: Do you mind if we replace the Intrepid with a Convertible Camaro?
Me: Uhhhh. Yes. That would be fine.
She then took the GPS I had rented from me and offered to program it. Great. She put in Pier 33 (where I was heading next to go on an Alcatraz tour) and also my hotel. I left feeling like I won the lottery.
Trust me, it was short-lived.
I thought the GPS would make the trip easy. And since it was already programmed how could I go wrong? I set it up, turned it on and VOILA! The nice Garmin GPS lady started to guide me to my destination. How awesome! I was driving my super cool Camaro in California! Alcatraz here I come!
What I didn't know is that the Garmin Lady really isn't nice at all. She's an evil and cunning Beotch. She plotted against me, an innocent, unknowing foreigner. Stupid cow.
I couldn't possibly recount all of the events that unraveled in the next 2 hours. What I can tell you is that I crossed that fucking Bay Bridge about 6 times. Yes, you read that right. Garmin Lady would tell me to "Keep Left". So I would. Seconds later she would demand that I "take the next exit". The next exit would be about 200 feet ahead. On the Interstate. In traffic, while moving at a rapid pace. Not happening. Every time I missed an exit or turn I would have to backtrack. It was infuriating. The joke is that since I have never been to California and have never driven a Camaro I was totally out of my element. I sometimes didn't even realize I was backtracking! Sometimes she would tell me to turn right and I would (and be very happy to have successfully followed the direction) when she would spontaneously announce "Recalculating"! Stupid Bitch! Even when I follow instructions I am wrong.
Sadly, after 2 hours of driving to a destination 30 minutes away I never made my tour. The tour I had paid for and was non refundable. Fan-freaking-tastic!
Ultimately I parked and took a walk around San Fran.
Oh look: An island with a prison on it! I wonder if they do tours?
To lessen the pain, I stopped at Ben & Jerry's and had a chocolate chunk scoop in a sugar cone. It helped.
I got back in the car and set out to get to the hotel in Pleasanton (40 minutes outside San Francisco). This trip took me 1 hour and 15 minutes. A marked improvement, although it also included being guided onto the commuter (carpool) lanes of the interstate. Ya, it was pretty obvious that there was only one person in the convertible.....
Long story short, I made it, checked in, had dinner at a fast food chinese joint and hit the sack.
Who knows what tomorrow will bring :)
So yesterday morning I headed out to catch my flight to San Francisco. I was super excited as my company has a policy that if you have a flight lasting more than 2 hours you get to fly Executive Class - BONUS!
Well I got on the plane and settled into my super comfy seat ready for 5 hours and 26 minutes of pampering. Admittedly, it started off well: orange juice, my vegetarian meal and lots of movies at my disposal. About 2 hours into the flight the pilot came on the intercom and asked if there was a doctor on board to please identify themselves. Ummmmmm......WHY?????
Then we realized there was a big commotion in the back of the plane. All the flight staff rushed to the back. They would occasionally run up to first class to grab supplies. Sometimes a first aid kit or a blanket, other times oxygen tanks (yikes) or forms. As a result of all this, the bathrooms at the rear of the plane were blocked off and everyone was routed to the first class bathroom. So, we had a line of people desperate to pee for most of the flight. Sadly, this also impacted our snack service. I was so looking forward to my fresh baked cookie and ice cream! Boooo....
Once we finally landed, we were all told to remain until medic was able to get in and get the ill passenger off. The good news was that the man will be okay. He had passed out (migraine) and had very low blood pressure. Phew!
After that drama, I was off to collect my rental car. I went over and waited in line and naturally got the grumpiest staff member working. You know, the type that makes no effort to disguise the fact that they hate what they do for a living.
Grumpy Worker: What kind of car do you drive at home?
Me: A Volswagen Jetta
Grumpy Worker: Is an Intrepid okay?
Ugh....I hate Intrepids. No offense to Intrepid drivers but they are not my thing. But honestly....I don't care enough to make a fuss.
Me: Sure
So Grumpy Worker tells me to go outside to parking spot 123 to pick up my car. Great. Out I go. Oh yes! There's the spot! There's the car! Wait! Why are the lights on? Is a worker warming it up for me? So helpful! Wait! Why is the car now accelerating? Why is it leaving? Why am I not the driver?
Someone took my car.
I stood in the now empty spot dumbfounded. Suddenly an Avis Van pulled up, apparently full of employees.
Worker: Do you need help?
Me: Ummm...someone just drove off with my car.
Worker: (laughs) Maybe they were overwhelmed with how good looking you are.
Me: Ya, I guess.
Worker: Go back inside to the "Preferred" desk and someone will help you.
So off I go back inside. The "Preferred" desk was another world. Apparently even staffed by friendly employees! Score! So I explained my predicament to the nice lady. Apparently this is not uncommon. Nice to know. Then the best thing happened:
Nice Worker: Do you mind if we replace the Intrepid with a Convertible Camaro?
Me: Uhhhh. Yes. That would be fine.
She then took the GPS I had rented from me and offered to program it. Great. She put in Pier 33 (where I was heading next to go on an Alcatraz tour) and also my hotel. I left feeling like I won the lottery.
Trust me, it was short-lived.
I thought the GPS would make the trip easy. And since it was already programmed how could I go wrong? I set it up, turned it on and VOILA! The nice Garmin GPS lady started to guide me to my destination. How awesome! I was driving my super cool Camaro in California! Alcatraz here I come!
What I didn't know is that the Garmin Lady really isn't nice at all. She's an evil and cunning Beotch. She plotted against me, an innocent, unknowing foreigner. Stupid cow.
I couldn't possibly recount all of the events that unraveled in the next 2 hours. What I can tell you is that I crossed that fucking Bay Bridge about 6 times. Yes, you read that right. Garmin Lady would tell me to "Keep Left". So I would. Seconds later she would demand that I "take the next exit". The next exit would be about 200 feet ahead. On the Interstate. In traffic, while moving at a rapid pace. Not happening. Every time I missed an exit or turn I would have to backtrack. It was infuriating. The joke is that since I have never been to California and have never driven a Camaro I was totally out of my element. I sometimes didn't even realize I was backtracking! Sometimes she would tell me to turn right and I would (and be very happy to have successfully followed the direction) when she would spontaneously announce "Recalculating"! Stupid Bitch! Even when I follow instructions I am wrong.
Sadly, after 2 hours of driving to a destination 30 minutes away I never made my tour. The tour I had paid for and was non refundable. Fan-freaking-tastic!
Ultimately I parked and took a walk around San Fran.
Oh look: An island with a prison on it! I wonder if they do tours?
To lessen the pain, I stopped at Ben & Jerry's and had a chocolate chunk scoop in a sugar cone. It helped.
I got back in the car and set out to get to the hotel in Pleasanton (40 minutes outside San Francisco). This trip took me 1 hour and 15 minutes. A marked improvement, although it also included being guided onto the commuter (carpool) lanes of the interstate. Ya, it was pretty obvious that there was only one person in the convertible.....
Long story short, I made it, checked in, had dinner at a fast food chinese joint and hit the sack.
Who knows what tomorrow will bring :)
September 13, 2011
How Did THAT Happen?
I can hardly believe it. I have been a mom for 3 whole years now (longer if you also count incubation time)! Yup, Buddy turned 3 on September 11th. My baby is a self-proclaimed "big boy". Part of me is super happy to be leaving the stage of constant need and, let's be honest, Super Husband and I have really been glorified slaves in a way for the last 3 years. We still are, of course, but it is slowly shifting and so very cool to see our little men grow.
Anyway, enough of that.
We had an awesome weekend. The weather actually cooperated (for once) and we were able to host Buddy's Birthday Party at Centre Island, as planned! The site was perfect and great fun was had by all. With the exception of getting there which was a major ordeal and ultimately almost culminated in Super Husband and I divorcing each other. That would have been a real downer so luckily we got ourselves pulled together and got ourselves and food for 25 guests transported to the island in the nick of time!
Sunday, Buddy's actual birthday, was spent at the Zoo. Our daycare was hosting an event there so we got tickets that included a catered lunch for the daycare customers. The event was fun....with the exception of the entertainment. They had hired a performer to sing to the kids at lunch time and we snagged perfect seats - front and center on the grass by the microphone. This was going to be great! The kids would be amused and hopefully mesmirized into a state of lethargy so Super Husband and I could have a breater and maybe, maybe even get to eat our lunch!
Or not.
The performer started. At first the boys were excited and even jumped to their feet to dance. And then they realized she was bad. Like REALLY bad. Pitchy, preachy and not entertaining. Just annoying. It was at this point that Buddy proclaimed that he "hates the dumb music". We tried to ignore his comments. Another little boy started throwing rocks and other debris at the entertainer.....then Buddy lost it. He started to scream and cry. Super Husband looked at me and stated the obvious: "well she is pretty bad". So we relocated. Buddy was transformed into a calm and happy guy again. And while we did not have a relaxing lunch - at least we ate!
Happy 3rd Birthday, Buddy!
Anyway, enough of that.
We had an awesome weekend. The weather actually cooperated (for once) and we were able to host Buddy's Birthday Party at Centre Island, as planned! The site was perfect and great fun was had by all. With the exception of getting there which was a major ordeal and ultimately almost culminated in Super Husband and I divorcing each other. That would have been a real downer so luckily we got ourselves pulled together and got ourselves and food for 25 guests transported to the island in the nick of time!
Sunday, Buddy's actual birthday, was spent at the Zoo. Our daycare was hosting an event there so we got tickets that included a catered lunch for the daycare customers. The event was fun....with the exception of the entertainment. They had hired a performer to sing to the kids at lunch time and we snagged perfect seats - front and center on the grass by the microphone. This was going to be great! The kids would be amused and hopefully mesmirized into a state of lethargy so Super Husband and I could have a breater and maybe, maybe even get to eat our lunch!
Or not.
The performer started. At first the boys were excited and even jumped to their feet to dance. And then they realized she was bad. Like REALLY bad. Pitchy, preachy and not entertaining. Just annoying. It was at this point that Buddy proclaimed that he "hates the dumb music". We tried to ignore his comments. Another little boy started throwing rocks and other debris at the entertainer.....then Buddy lost it. He started to scream and cry. Super Husband looked at me and stated the obvious: "well she is pretty bad". So we relocated. Buddy was transformed into a calm and happy guy again. And while we did not have a relaxing lunch - at least we ate!
Happy 3rd Birthday, Buddy!
September 2, 2011
Food For Thought...
September has always been a month of new beginnings in my mind. For many years, it marked the start of school. A brand new year. Later, with the birth of Buddy, it marked the beginning of my journey as a mom. Every year at this time I get the urge to do something new.
This year, in the spirit of being budget conscious, we finally decided enough was enough and we are trying our hand at meal planning. It sounds so simple in theory, right? Well, perhaps I'm more challenged than most. I found it HARD. And frankly, I've barely started. I'm hoping it gets easier.
The last couple of weeks I have eagerly trolled the internet for new and excited recipes. Of course they need to be vegetarian. And not too time consuming. And, bonus points if I can get one that the kids will actually eat.
So I'm a bit late seeing as it is already September 2nd, however, last night I stayed up until the wee hours and filled in my little meal planning calendar with dinner items. Now, I did cheat a bit as I'm only meal planning Mondays through Fridays. Weekends are a whole other beast. We never know what will be on the agenda so instead of setting us up for failure I've left them blank.
I have my (ridiculously long) shopping supply list for me today. I will actually be buying ALL the ingredients needed to pull off a month of dinners with the exception of the produce which I will buy each week.
We have a budget of $600/month for groceries. The joke is that we have NO FRIGGING IDEA what we spend currently.
I'm going to the bank machine, withdrawing the $600 and using the envelope method. As our Financial Advisor said...."when it's gone, you eat popcorn". Hmmmm....that right there sounds like another nomination for the Parent of the Year Award
Let's hope it doesn't come to that.
In all honesty I'm pretty darn excited to try this out. I hope it helps us save money while reducing stress and guilt of preparing last minute crap-ass meals.
Wish me luck!!!
This year, in the spirit of being budget conscious, we finally decided enough was enough and we are trying our hand at meal planning. It sounds so simple in theory, right? Well, perhaps I'm more challenged than most. I found it HARD. And frankly, I've barely started. I'm hoping it gets easier.
The last couple of weeks I have eagerly trolled the internet for new and excited recipes. Of course they need to be vegetarian. And not too time consuming. And, bonus points if I can get one that the kids will actually eat.
So I'm a bit late seeing as it is already September 2nd, however, last night I stayed up until the wee hours and filled in my little meal planning calendar with dinner items. Now, I did cheat a bit as I'm only meal planning Mondays through Fridays. Weekends are a whole other beast. We never know what will be on the agenda so instead of setting us up for failure I've left them blank.
I have my (ridiculously long) shopping supply list for me today. I will actually be buying ALL the ingredients needed to pull off a month of dinners with the exception of the produce which I will buy each week.
We have a budget of $600/month for groceries. The joke is that we have NO FRIGGING IDEA what we spend currently.
I'm going to the bank machine, withdrawing the $600 and using the envelope method. As our Financial Advisor said...."when it's gone, you eat popcorn". Hmmmm....that right there sounds like another nomination for the Parent of the Year Award
Let's hope it doesn't come to that.
In all honesty I'm pretty darn excited to try this out. I hope it helps us save money while reducing stress and guilt of preparing last minute crap-ass meals.
Wish me luck!!!
August 29, 2011
It's Not What You Say, It's How You Say it
Buddy is going through a phase that I've heard many a parent lament about...the dreaded potty talk. Everything equates to poo. EVERYTHING! We cannot eat a meal without it being compared to poo. His brother is now known as poo poo head.....it's nauseating. Apparently no amount of time outs or threats are working to combat this poo phenomenon and it's making Super Husband and I crazy.
Anyway, yesterday we went to a birthday party and all was well. The day was finally drawing to a close and we were driving along the highway to get home. Both kidlets were happily chattering in the back. Little Man suddenly starts yelling, "Fuck, Fuck"! As in perfectly enunciated....clear as day. Super Husband just about loses control of the car when I turn around and realize that Little Man is pointing to the 18 wheeler beside us. Thank GOD....he means TRUCK! So the remaining ride home goes something like this:
Me: It's TRuck...T...T...T...R-U-C-K. Can you say TRRRUUUCK?
Little Man: Fuck
Buddy: Poo Poo Head!
Me: Try Again. TRRRRRUCK.
Little Man: Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
Me: T. Say T! T-T-T-T....
Buddy: Poo...Poo....Poo Bum!
Seriously. If the ride was being recorded I'm sure it would secure us as a top contender for parents of the year.
And let's face it. It's useless to give Buddy crap for talking poo when his brother is dropping the F-Bomb left, right and center.
Oh well. Today is a brand new day, right?
Anyway, yesterday we went to a birthday party and all was well. The day was finally drawing to a close and we were driving along the highway to get home. Both kidlets were happily chattering in the back. Little Man suddenly starts yelling, "Fuck, Fuck"! As in perfectly enunciated....clear as day. Super Husband just about loses control of the car when I turn around and realize that Little Man is pointing to the 18 wheeler beside us. Thank GOD....he means TRUCK! So the remaining ride home goes something like this:
Me: It's TRuck...T...T...T...R-U-C-K. Can you say TRRRUUUCK?
Little Man: Fuck
Buddy: Poo Poo Head!
Me: Try Again. TRRRRRUCK.
Little Man: Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
Me: T. Say T! T-T-T-T....
Buddy: Poo...Poo....Poo Bum!
Seriously. If the ride was being recorded I'm sure it would secure us as a top contender for parents of the year.
And let's face it. It's useless to give Buddy crap for talking poo when his brother is dropping the F-Bomb left, right and center.
Oh well. Today is a brand new day, right?
August 24, 2011
Look Your Fears Straight in the Eye
Isn't that what "they" say?
Well Super Husband and I finally did just that. We sat down over the course of multiple evenings and forefeited the little downtime that we have a day in order to come to terms with our finances.
So Depressing.
And Liberating.
You see, although we have a ridiculous amount of debt, it's actually much better to know what it all is and plan to fix it rather than to sweep it under the carpet.
We did all this in preparation for our very first meeting with our financial planner. Well, it's actually our second meeting but since the first one happened about ten years ago I decided to reset the clock.
We met with Mr. Money for about two hours sans kidlets. My palms were sweating. I was nervous (and I rarely get nervous....so that was a bit messed up). In the end, we have our work cut out for us. We knew that. BUT the good news is that if we work REALLY extra hard we could potentially be debt free in two years. And be well on our way to purchasing our dream home. Well, maybe not our dream home....but at least our forever home!
We are very excited to start our plan. So excited that we promptly went out and had a beer on a patio to celebrate. It was a nice moment. Until I flicked my orange slice into my pint and Super Husband advised me that he would never do that because "you never know who's been touching that orange" Thanks for that Super Husband. You're a total buzz kill.
Well Super Husband and I finally did just that. We sat down over the course of multiple evenings and forefeited the little downtime that we have a day in order to come to terms with our finances.
So Depressing.
And Liberating.
You see, although we have a ridiculous amount of debt, it's actually much better to know what it all is and plan to fix it rather than to sweep it under the carpet.
We did all this in preparation for our very first meeting with our financial planner. Well, it's actually our second meeting but since the first one happened about ten years ago I decided to reset the clock.
We met with Mr. Money for about two hours sans kidlets. My palms were sweating. I was nervous (and I rarely get nervous....so that was a bit messed up). In the end, we have our work cut out for us. We knew that. BUT the good news is that if we work REALLY extra hard we could potentially be debt free in two years. And be well on our way to purchasing our dream home. Well, maybe not our dream home....but at least our forever home!
We are very excited to start our plan. So excited that we promptly went out and had a beer on a patio to celebrate. It was a nice moment. Until I flicked my orange slice into my pint and Super Husband advised me that he would never do that because "you never know who's been touching that orange" Thanks for that Super Husband. You're a total buzz kill.
August 18, 2011
You Know What Pisses Me Off?
The Grocery Bag Situation. Yes, it deserves to be capitalized because it seems like a full event each and every time I get groceries.
I am fully supportive of the green movement. We religiously recycle, compost and all the rest. We're vegetarians. I pack the kids snacks in reusable containers. Heck, we barely drive anymore. I feel we are doing our part.
But yet every time I go get groceries I feel like a hardened criminal. The cashier liiks at my pitiful stack of cloth bags and then to my heaping cart full of food. She sighs and then asks the dreaded question. "You need bags"?
You see, we have a SMALL place. We have a LARGE stroller. That we have to store in the trunk. We have a small-ish car. And two LARGE car seats. What that all equates to is not much room for other stuff.
So while we have about 25 cloth bags of varying sizes....I can't always get to them. And at 9:30pm after a long day the thought of dragging our double stroller out of the trunk to find the pile of bags is not happening.
So I brought in the 3 bags I could get.
Now on to the real reason I am annoyed.
I have 3 cloth bags. They are large and will hold a good amount of our stuff....but likely not all. Since I'm not some kind of savant at figuring out the ratio of groceries to bags and cubic storage space...I have no fucking idea if I need more bags!!!
So I answer the cashier's question. "I'm not yet sure".
She stares at me for a moment. Blinks. Then asks again. "But do you need bags"?
WTF?
"I don't know. You see, I have some bags here....but I might need more. I have no way of knowing If I need bags until I've filled these ones".
Her reply?
"So what do you want me to do"?
Oh.My.God. I'm about to have a stroke. But I contain myself.
"I want to wait and see if I need bags".
To which she responded, "Oh. Okay".
Seriously? Why is this so difficult?
Next time I will dig the bags out first. It's not worth the hassle.
I am fully supportive of the green movement. We religiously recycle, compost and all the rest. We're vegetarians. I pack the kids snacks in reusable containers. Heck, we barely drive anymore. I feel we are doing our part.
But yet every time I go get groceries I feel like a hardened criminal. The cashier liiks at my pitiful stack of cloth bags and then to my heaping cart full of food. She sighs and then asks the dreaded question. "You need bags"?
You see, we have a SMALL place. We have a LARGE stroller. That we have to store in the trunk. We have a small-ish car. And two LARGE car seats. What that all equates to is not much room for other stuff.
So while we have about 25 cloth bags of varying sizes....I can't always get to them. And at 9:30pm after a long day the thought of dragging our double stroller out of the trunk to find the pile of bags is not happening.
So I brought in the 3 bags I could get.
Now on to the real reason I am annoyed.
I have 3 cloth bags. They are large and will hold a good amount of our stuff....but likely not all. Since I'm not some kind of savant at figuring out the ratio of groceries to bags and cubic storage space...I have no fucking idea if I need more bags!!!
So I answer the cashier's question. "I'm not yet sure".
She stares at me for a moment. Blinks. Then asks again. "But do you need bags"?
WTF?
"I don't know. You see, I have some bags here....but I might need more. I have no way of knowing If I need bags until I've filled these ones".
Her reply?
"So what do you want me to do"?
Oh.My.God. I'm about to have a stroke. But I contain myself.
"I want to wait and see if I need bags".
To which she responded, "Oh. Okay".
Seriously? Why is this so difficult?
Next time I will dig the bags out first. It's not worth the hassle.
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