Stick It

I keep forgetting to rant about something that I find completely annoying.

Now, before I start my rant let me say I am sorry if you subscribe to this phenomenon.  It does not make you a bad person.  I just don't get it.  And for some strange reason annoys me in ways it should not.  I apologize but cannot help the way I feel.

That was my disclaimer.

With that out of the way, what the hell is the del with people finding it necessary to adorn their vehicles with stick people?  You know the ones I'm referring to:  the happy family including dogs, cats and, heck, even fish (yes, I've seen fish in fishbowls) included are displays of their hobbies of choice:  hockey sticks, glasses of wine and tutus to name a few.

My first question is why?  It's also all subsequent questions.

Do you really want all the creepy people who lay eyes on your vehicle to know your family demographics?  Do you want to announce that you have 3 kids (1 boy and 2 girls), 2 dogs and spend most of your free time on the soccer pitch?  I've even seen these with NAMES included (gasp).  Congratulations.  You've just given the pedophile driving behind you all the info they need to lure your child.  I know it sounds terrible, but the reality is it's true.  In a world where information is already waaaaay to easy to obtain (hello facebook) I am a firm believer you need to keep information close to you and that includes not advertising your family dynamics wherever you park your car.

Plus, it kind of makes me want to rear end you.  Except I don't want to hurt your baby and poodle.

My rant is over now. 

Smash Week

Damn, I am bad at every day posting. 

Last week was an epically shitty week.  At least from my perspective, and that's my best excuse for not posting.  Besides, I thought I would save it all up and amuse anyone who has the time to read about it.

As I have been recently complaining, my work situation is a bit out of control.  Not enough hours in the day and not enough energy in the world to do it.  As a result, I have been known to be, let's say, less than pleasant on the home front.  I try to not let that happen but alas, I am human.

Monday evening as I was cleaning up from dinner, Little Man turns around in his chair and starts talking to me.  I have my back to him and we are talking back and forth when suddenly, BOOM!  He manages to fall backwards off the chair and smack his head on the wooden cross beam of the table.  Screaming ensues.  I scoop him up and immediately see a HUGE bump sprouting on the back of his head.  I mean, this thing stuck out a good 2.5 cms.  And was dark purple.  After icing it and assessing, Super Husband announces he needs to see a doctor.  Which means off to emergency we go.  The whole family.  With Little Man Screaming the entire way.  The good news is he's okay.  No fractured skull but needed to wake him up through the night to make sure all is well.  Disaster averted.

So, Tuesday morning I get up and actually set off to work in good time despite being awake half the night.  I am thinking, "Gee, I'm so super awesome.  I look good with my new cream coloured pants on"!  I continue to think about random things as I drive.  So much so that I manage to plow right into a pole in the parking garage while zipping around the corner.  Fucking awesome.  Might I add this is not the first time this has happened.  I managed to do the EXACT same thing almost three years ago.  Except, of course, it was a different car.  So now BOTH of our cars have smashed up right sides.  How incredibly idiotic, right?

So I smash my car and proceed to go up to my office.  Shut the door and call Super Husband:

SH:  Hello?
Me:  I did it again.  I'm so stupid.  I smashed the car! [starting to cry]
SH:  What?  Again?  Are you Okay?
Me:  NO!  I'm so stupid and angry at myself
SH:  How bad is it?
Me:  Bad
SH:  Ummm...well....I was just writing you an email to let you know I've been told I need to fly out to Quebec tomorrow morning.
Me:  Well that's fan-fucking-tastic
SH:  Yes.  Is there anything I can do to help you?
ME:  Yes.  You can get a gun and shoot me.

Okay, I admit it.  Not my proudest moment but I was a little irrational at the time.

I then composed myself and trotted down to my all day meeting.  Where I realized that I managed to get grease or something similar (black) on my new cream pants.  I have since washed them three times and said stain is STILL THERE. 

Thankfully, I made it through the week and weekend without Super Husband.  He arrived back Monday. 

Moody Morning

Do you ever wake up and just know that you have an uphill battle ahead of you?  That was me this morning. My alarm went off as always at 5:40am and I thought to myself:  Holy shit. How many hours until I can crawl back in here?

Sad.  But oh, so true.

You see, I woke up knowing that today was going to be a challenge at work. In fact, this whole week has been what one of my old coworkers liked to refer to as a "cluster fuck".  Back to back meetings, presentations, confrontations and stressful situations.  Not something I want to get out of bed for.

On top of that, I barely get out of the shower and realize I am already running late. I put on a new dress feeling confident that I at least looked good attire-wise. As a side note, it was not until I got home this evening that I realized I had gone the entire day with the price tag still dangling from my dress. Whatever. We got the guys up and bribed them to eat breakfast and get dressed. As we were finally getting shoes on to leave I realized that it is "Halloween" day at Buddy's day camp. Crap. I run to his room and convince him that the fireman jacket and hat he had in his closet is super awesome only to find Little Man in full meltdown mode. Screaming and lamenting the lack of Halloween at daycare.  Ugh. I get his shoes on and he rips them off. He also throws off his sweater. Then yells at me because it is not on. The clock continues to move forward at an alarming pace. I am ready to combust. Literally.

At this point Super Husband hightailed it with Buddy in tow leaving me to deal with the wrath of Little Man.

We get outside...finally....

I open the car door and ask Little Man to get in. And...

He bolts.

Around the side of the house to the back. I chase him. In my new with tags dress. He stops and runs the opposite way. This continues about three full times around the house. I finally catch him, scoop him up and cart him to the car. Breathing heavy and breaking out in sweat.  Not impressed.

I must have really looked a sight because by the time I got to Little Man's daycare, his teacher took one look at me and said, "uh oh...looks like mom needs a hug".

Yes, I did.

Now the good news is that I indeed made it through the day and when I arrived home my beautiful, spirited Little Man ran up to me and apologized for running away. Unprompted. Bliss.

Bedtime With Little Man

Little Man is a talker. I mean, the child could talk passionately for 76 minutes on demand about a piece of lint. 

He especially likes to illustrate this talent at bedtime. Partly because he has the undivided attention of either myself or Super Husband and partly because it is a very effective delay tactic. 

Tonight's conversation: 

Little Man:  Mommy?

Me:  Yes?

LM:  Have you met The Grinch?

Me:  No, I haven't

LM:  Me either. He's a stranger. You should not talk to strangers. 

Me:  That's good advice. 

LM:  I would hug The Grinch

Me:  Really?

LM:  Yes. Does he see us?  Does he know what we are doing?

Me:  You mean like Santa?

LM:  Yes, like Santa. 

Me:  No, I don't think so. 

LM:  [while poking me in the right breast]  Do you know what this is?

Me:  Ummmm......what?

LM:  A horn!

I cannot help but laugh!

There are moments I am filled with sadness at the thought that one day our beautiful boys will suddenly realize that me and Super Husband are not the center of the universe after all. 

We Made It!

Holy Crap!  The last week has been a blur and all I can say is that my mission to post every day this month has been an EPIC fail. It was, however, somewhat out of my span of control. I quickly realized that the wireless Internet offered at the hotel was not of the same caliber as at home, work, Starbucks, or pretty much anywhere I've ever connected. Seriously. It actually took 5 solid minutes to load a page with local weather. So, I decided on day one to put my online life on hold for the week and simply enjoy my family and friends. And that is EXACTLY what I did :)

Now I just need to get myself out of vacation mode and gear up for work and timetables tomorrow...

Road Trip: Day 1

I know I missed my post yesterday. Yes, I also know it was only day two of my month long blogging challenge.

Moving on. 

Today in a nutshell:  lots of driving, nonstop interrogation by my inquisitive children, and interesting moments. 

We made it all the way from Toronto to Bridgewater, West Virginia. We are currently what I would consider the middle of nowhere. Except there is a lot of traffic. And rain. 

This place will forever be remembered by me as the place where I risked life and limb in the middle of a pelting rainstorm to save three puppies. 

I truly believe things happen for a reason...

So when Super Husband missed the turn for the K-Mart we were trying to infiltrate causing us to be essentially trapped on a highway, I thought, okay, we will turn around and go back. No problem. Two seconds later we see not one, not two, but three small dogs on the teeny tiny sliver of a median separating the highway lanes. Super Husband slams on the brakes, puts the hazards on and I jump out in an attempt to stop traffic. Which, by the way, is barrelling by. Super Husband jumps out and starts running towards the dogs to corral them. I'm screaming at cars to stop like a crazy woman. The dogs start running into traffic and my heart almost stopped. One of the dogs was within mere feet of being shucked by some oblivious (or uncaring) woman. Thank God my screaming and frantic waving worked and she slowed down at the last moment. 

In the end the dogs got across and ran down the mountain on the other side - away from cars. We have no idea where they came from or where they went but if it weren't for us stopping those dogs would almost certainly be dead. 

I'm so happy that we were there to help but sad that so few people care enough to go out of their way. I hope those puppies have found their way back to or into a loving home. 

Now onto our chuckle of the day. Super Husband could not contain his enthusiasm for the following sign we saw in Erie, Pennsylvania. Awesome. 

Repurposed

When Super Husband and I got married we decided to pool all our wedding gift money and purchase a really, really expensive hand crafted Mennonite dining room table. We love this table. Plus, frankly, it is worth more than anything we own excepting my engagement ring and, I suppose, our cars. We bought it with dreams of hosting beautiful dinner parties and gatherings.

Then we had kids. 

Now our table serves a different purpose. Often, it is my sewing station. Today....a packing depot.  This is what happens when you plan a road trip with children. For days on end I have been gathering necessities and squirrelling them on the table. Now we have 30 hours left before the rubber hits the road and we head to Myrtle Beach. 

I bet my table is looking forward to our departure. 

Enter Sandman

Yesterday I had a revelation. I was on my commute to work and wondering how time keeps alluding me and how damn long it's been since I've posted on here on a frequent, recurring basis.   I realized the only way this would improve is if I make a promise to myself. So, I have decided to devote the month of August to this blog. I will commit to publishing one post per day for the entire month of August. I have no idea how I will come up with daily material (especially considering we no longer have the Troll drama to lament about) but this is my commitment, nonetheless!

So,  stay tuned :)

In the meantime I would like to share the lovely surprise I had waiting for me after draining the tub one night last week. To clarify....this wasn't after MY bath.